The Underdog Triumphs

Saturday, April 01, 2006

The End of The Voice

The conversation ended like all others on that Saturday morning in January. The Voice said "We’ll talk later this week. Bye.” The Voice waited for me to say bye, but instead I let it listen to my sobs a second longer and then silently hung up. At the time I didn’t know it would be our last conversation. But I wasn’t surprised it was. It was months in the making. I was still full of ideas of possibilities and The Voice wasn’t and let me know it a year before. But I never accepted it. A part of me still doesn’t, even though I have been forced to.

There were only words, millions of words exchanged; there was little that was ever left unsaid. Except that simple word, “bye,” which has haunted me for months now, because it means finality, but more importantly it means I have to accept it. If I am mad or angry at anyone it is I for not accepting. I have forgiven all except me.

The Voice and I often spoke about and related to music. The Voice would like and deeply grasp the words that sound so simple in Jeff Buckley’s most popular song “Last Goodbye.” This is our last goodbye. I hate to feel the love between us die. But it’s over. Just hear this and then I’ll go. You gave me more to live for, more than you’ll ever know.

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