The Last of the Singles
I just got off the phone with my friend Julie who recently got engaged to be married. The last couple of years we only talk a few times a year, email a few more times than that--she sounds absolutely fantastic and I couldn't be prouder or more happy for her, but I'm envious.
As 10 year olds running around at camp she was always the "cute little one" without having to try to hard to be cute. Having 3 older brothers she was tough like a boy and could hold her own. As we grew up, a part of her saddened and became self-conscious and I never really understood why. At a fit 5 feet with big blue eyes, light hair and delicate features she never was short of a camp boyfriend. It was the girls she had trouble relating to, as did I. In college she decided to live at home only 45 minutes from campus but I think she felt farther away than that--at five minutes away I felt just as far. The year I lived alone she was one of my only social outlets going for the occasional drinks or dinner. After she graduated, like me, she worked a series of really low-paying crappy jobs while still living at home. I think we related well to each other because we were both so lost.
But she found herself some how. She lived out her dreams and passions by spending a couple of years in Israel. She came back last year and moved to Atlanta to live with her boyfriend of now a couple of years. She has a great job and is living a life she enjoys. Which I think is fantastic and well deserved.
I rarely compare my life to those of my friends mostly because it is an unhealthy habit. But like I said before there was always something in Jules I could relate to. Except now I found almost nothing. It was weird to hear her use the word "we" so many times because I am still just a me.
I think I just hope that like she turned her life around, I will too. I need to start living out those dreams and finding those passions. I'm definitely not as lost as I used to be, but there are times when I still lose my way.