The Underdog Triumphs

Sunday, March 26, 2006

The Last of the Singles

I just got off the phone with my friend Julie who recently got engaged to be married. The last couple of years we only talk a few times a year, email a few more times than that--she sounds absolutely fantastic and I couldn't be prouder or more happy for her, but I'm envious.

As 10 year olds running around at camp she was always the "cute little one" without having to try to hard to be cute. Having 3 older brothers she was tough like a boy and could hold her own. As we grew up, a part of her saddened and became self-conscious and I never really understood why. At a fit 5 feet with big blue eyes, light hair and delicate features she never was short of a camp boyfriend. It was the girls she had trouble relating to, as did I. In college she decided to live at home only 45 minutes from campus but I think she felt farther away than that--at five minutes away I felt just as far. The year I lived alone she was one of my only social outlets going for the occasional drinks or dinner. After she graduated, like me, she worked a series of really low-paying crappy jobs while still living at home. I think we related well to each other because we were both so lost.

But she found herself some how. She lived out her dreams and passions by spending a couple of years in Israel. She came back last year and moved to Atlanta to live with her boyfriend of now a couple of years. She has a great job and is living a life she enjoys. Which I think is fantastic and well deserved.

I rarely compare my life to those of my friends mostly because it is an unhealthy habit. But like I said before there was always something in Jules I could relate to. Except now I found almost nothing. It was weird to hear her use the word "we" so many times because I am still just a me.

I think I just hope that like she turned her life around, I will too. I need to start living out those dreams and finding those passions. I'm definitely not as lost as I used to be, but there are times when I still lose my way.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Gray Matters

I just spent the last 10 minutes flipping my hair in all different parts to see all my newly (?) accumulated gray hair in the mirror. I knew I had some underneath on my locks on the right side, but now it's everywhere. Maybe if I had good lighting in my own bathroom I would have noticed it sooner. It's a blessing and a curse. I like my natural hair color and I'm too poor to get it professionally dyed, and although I used the box method multiple times in high school, it serious now. It's not cool anymore to have a purple sheen--now I have to dye it to match my natural tones.
To cover something.

I know, I know, I could go "al naturale"--but I don't want to. My hair is my best asset. And I'm only 27 dammit! Besides, my 90 year-old bubbie dyed her hair until a few years ago.

I know I'm still really young--I'm just having one of those moments where I feel really old.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Italian Dreams

This was written 2 weeks ago in my school notebook to be published at a later date (although I didn't mean for 2 weeks to go by).

I'm sitting in the Italian Cafe watching the wet snow while sipping my vanilla lattee. I need a break from my work--too much research has been done on these dense leadership theories and concepts. I frequent this cafe on Sunday afternoons to do some work and daydreaming. Today's dream will soon become a reality.

An act of generosity has allowed one of the few dreams I have in this life to come true.

As I glance at the bar I remember the first time I came here with Brad. How we ooh'd and ahh'd over the cookies, lattes, even the little spoons. We commented on the photo of the baby hung on the wall. "My daughter," the owner proudly declared. He based the cafe on ones found in Venice. Next time he is here I will have to ask if there is a specific one so I can visit when I travel there in June.

3 days in Rome, 3 days in Florence, and a couple of days in Venice. I can't wait to walk through the piazzas, sample the gelato, sip my espresso in the morning at an outdoor cafe people watching and soaking all the culture in. I read somewhere that an advantage of traveling means you can be anyone you want. While Tziv and I are in Italy we will ooze sexuality--go out to nice dinners wearing black dresses, heals and makeup (a stretch for me but I think Italy is great place to start working on the lack of self-confidence and maybe, pervertedly, I can't wait for all the lewd hoots and shouts of "Bella.")

During the day we will go to art museums, walk the streets and window shop--one of my favorite scenes from a movie is from Six Degrees of Separation when Stockard Channing was strangely allowed to take a little lift to the top of the Sistine chapel and slapped the hand of God. Another favorite scene of a movie is the infamous one from Roman Holiday when Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant slip their hands into the Mouth of Truth.

I am bursting with excitement. I will never be able to express my thanks to Tzivia for this extraordinary gift--for giving me something to look forward to and memories to share for rest of our lives.

Friday, March 10, 2006

The Tribe

I just watched the most amazing documentary short on Sundance. It explains the history and current state of American Jewry (and Barbie) better than anything I have heard, read or scene.

Check it out.

Go to Sundance, then scroll down to the Tribe. click on "the tribe" by tiffany shlain.
http://festival.sundance.org/2006/watch/index.aspx

Thursday, March 02, 2006

My First Haiku

A haiku for you
Math is punishment for whine
Let's drink it instead

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

5-7-5

My boss Betsy assigned me homework. I am suppose to write a haiku.

5-7-5

Now every time I whine I am suppose to do it haiku.

5-7-5

I still clap out my syllables.

5-7-5

It involves math, therefore I freeze.

Guess I have to stop whining. I can't do haiku.